Jokes Corner: Santa Banta Jokes

Showing posts with label Santa Banta Jokes. Show all posts

Imagine

Interviewer : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?

Santa : Simple, Stop imagining.

Biwi ko padhaunga

Santa : pehle me apni biwi ko BA karwaunga fir MA fir Phd karwaunga fir badiya si naukri dilwaunga.

Banta : fir acha sa rishta dekh k uski shaadi bhi krwa diyo

Multiplications

Teacher : santa, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

Santa : You told me to do it without using tables.

An essay on a cricket match

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.

All were busy writing except our Santaji.

He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Santa and Banta were looking at a catalog and admiring the models.

Santa says to the Banta, "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?"

Banta replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!"

Santa says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one."

Banta smiles and pats him on the back, "Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too."

Three weeks later, Banta asks Santa, "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the catalog?"

Santa replies, "No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!"

Four Sardar in Business

4 sardaro ne mil ke petrol pump khola.
1 bhi customer nahi aaya ..
Kyun..?
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petrol pump was on 1st floor..

Chal ek aur

Fir charo ne usi floor pe restuarent khola.
1 bhi customer nahi..
Kyu..?
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petrol pump ka board nahi hataya..

Chal ek aur

Fir charo ne 1 taxi li.
1 bhi sawari nahi.
Kyu..?
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2 sardar aage and 2 piche baith ke sawari dhund rahe the..

Chal ek aur

Taxi
kharab ho gayi.
Charo ne khub dhakka lagaya.
but taxi wahi ki wahi.
Kyu..?
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2 aage se and 2 piche se dhakka de rahe the..

Chal ek aur

Fir charo ne 1 bachhe ko
kidnap kiya.
Bachhe ko kaha ghar ja apne baap se 5 lac rs le ke aa.
warna tujhe maar denge.
Bachha ghar gaya aur uske papa ne paise de bhi diye.
Kyu..?
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bachhe ka baap bhi sardar tha..

Missed call

Santa & Banta got tired using mobile cell phones. For a change, they decided to use pigeons to send sweet messages. And this hilarious scheme worked very fine.

One day Santa sends his pigeon.

Banta sees, the pigeon is without any message. He picks his mobile and asks Santa: The pigeon is without any sweet message.

Santa: Oye khotey, that was a missed call.

Banta thought LOL meant

Banta thought LOL meant.??
Lots of Love.!!
So.,
He sent it in the following text 2 his GIRL FRIEND-
You are the only girl in my life..LOL

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A CHAND TU CHAMAK YA NA CHAMAK
MUJHE KOI GAM NAHI,
EK CHAND AISA BHI HAI JISKI
CHAMAK TUJHSE KAM NAH
***************************************
Heart is like Crystal,
Preserve it,
Love is like perfume,
Spread it
Feelings are like flood,
Flow it
FRIENDSHIP is like Umbrella,
Share it

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1day sardar saw a dream, that someone killed him.
Next day he closed his
icici bank account. Why?
Becoz of icici's slogan: "we make ur dreams come true"
Think different.

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Lalu-Rabri tum meri CHAND ho.
Rabri- Na ji, hamko CHAND-VAND mat kahiye.
eee sasura America wale roz
chand par utarte rahte hai

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Bikhar: kuch khane ko dedo baba
admi: tamatar khao
bikhari: roti dedo baba
admi: tamatar khao
bikhari: tamatar hi dedo baba
admi ki biwi : ye totle hai keh rahe
hai kamake khao.

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Sunsaan Kabristaan

American: do you know swimming?
Indian: no
American: dog is better than you, it swims
Indian: do you know swimming?
American: yes
Indian: then what's the difference between you and dog.

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wife:- Aji agar me goum ho gayi
to tum kya karoge?
Husband:- Its a time 2 disco,
kon dhundega tujko,
kabhi na mile tu mujko,
its a time 2 disco.
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Q: What is common between
Zindagi ka Safar and women.
A: Koi samjha nahin
koi jana nahin

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Dear Frnd
I m Collecting
Gandhijis Photos

I need ur Contribution 2 my Collection
tho ghar me jitne b 10/50/100/500 /1000 k
notes ho,bhej dena

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Mummy- Beta kyo Ro rahe ho?
Beta- Papa ne muje kiss nhi ki.
Mumy- Beta, aapne papa ko table nhi sunaya hoga.
Beta- mummy, kaam wali ko koun se tables ate hain?

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Andheri sadak. Sunsaan Kabristaan.
Sooni haveli, Kala aasmaan.
Raat Ho Gayee, So-ja Shaitaan!
Gudnite!

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Santa Again

Santa ne 1 aadmi ko takkar mar di.
Aur bola - aap bahut lucky ho
Aadmi - kaise?
Santa - Aaj meri chutti hai
NAHI TO MAI TRUCK CHALATA HU...!S

Phone ki ganti baji

Phone ki ganti baji.
Santa : Phone mere liye ho toh kehna mein ghar pe nahi hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo ghar pe hain.
Santa : Maine mana kiya tha ke…
Jasmeet : Phone mere liye tha!

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